So, I am not the best at blogging! That is A-ok with me. Just a part of who I am....as inconsistant as that is, I finally accept that I am not my good friend Sarah. It is a goal, however, to atleast try posting much more frequent musings. Of course, you can't see the several posts that I deleted from this past year. I decided they were just not quite up to par with what I feel should be posted, said or even viewed. Bygones are bygones!

That said, here I am once again. Life has a way of interupting me. Here it is nearly 10:00 p.m. and I sit here knowing I have to get to bed. I have an early day tomorrow...the usual Monday a.m. sales meeting. The usual bump and grind of a 'real' job. I actually miss my former life of being a stay at home mom...even though while living it...I longed for some relief from the duties. Amazing how I need the balance; I need a little bit of working and a little bit of SAHM life...and then there is the rest of the stuff I 'need'. How does one balance so many 'needs'? Maybe they are wants? Maybe I keep interupting God's plan for my life with my little 'wants' or 'needs'. I so need to hit my knees and pray thru my unsettled feelings. Knowing and doing...hmmmm? Difficult at best. I hold back...I wrestle....I scream inside. Where is my ability to balance?

Lord, help me to come to you in all the times...not just the desperate times. Help me to keep you in the forefront at all times. Give me clarity, understanding and hope. Give me a place to begin. Let me know it is never futile when I approach your throne. More of you, less of me.