LIFE HAPPENS
Jen's daddy is out of jail. She thinks he can get a job and sometime she will go live with him. He sees her as a 'cash cow'. He doesn't care about her true welfare. He spends all of his time with his 'other' children. 3 boys. He has always been partial to them. She can't see it. He hasn't called to talk to her once this week. But he has been with those boys all week, every day. I did let her see him and stay the night with her grandma last Saturday, which is where he is sleeping. She did call him on his 37th birthday for all of 5 minutes. He has been home exactly 1 week today.
Did he ever call her this year? Did he send her a birthday card? He did write her 1 letter a few months ago with those pipe dreams one gets while they are restricted from the rest of the world and all of reality. Oh, and he did send her a Christmas card. He called his now ex-girlfriend every weekend and he did write to her girls all the time (they are in school with Jen---yes, they smeared it in her face). He sent them pictures. He told them lots of things that she had the opportunity to hear about at school.
Why a 'cash cow'? Because when I went to see him in jail to get the paper signed last March. His very first comment was that she was eligible for disability insurance. (She had to have a kidney removed and has high blood pressure.) I don't know if she is or not...that is not the point. She is NOT, nor do we want her to even think she is disabled. He only wants her to get money off her. How cruel. How utterly heartless. He is my husbands half brother and my husband knows him all too well. I am glad my husband knows how to deal with him. I am thankful beyond all that my husband is not an easy to fool fella. I am thankful that he is logical, realistic and smart in these things.
You know, we don't see him ever getting her. We see him hurting her. Will he ever be able to get a job? Maybe. Does he realize that at least 4 of his kids draw state welfare (child support)? Does he realize that IF he gets a job the state will take a big chunk of his check? They want to be paid back for the years of support they've been giving to the caregivers of his children. Does he realize that it costs to provide a home, food, clothing and who knows what else for this child? Does he realize that once he starts getting these real life hits, he is going to ride a roller coaster of emotions. Life is going to happen. There is nothing he can do to stop it, nothing. I know that there are a large number of people who come out of jail, drug rehab and bad situations to only find themselves knocked back down and trampled over. I also know that there is a very small number who come out and go on to live better lives, so I do know it is possible. Do I think he will? Honestly? No. Not because I am cruel and just don't want to see it happen. No, because of the reality of his situation. You just do not do the things he has done, come out of jail and not face more consequences of his actions. The past haunts us and it catches up to us, heck, it just flat runs us over. You can't run from it. You can't ignore it. You can't think the rules don't apply to you. It just doesn't work that way.
She will be hurt by it. Mark my words. She will be hurt. She won't understand it. She won't be able to fully process it. Will he realize how he will hurt her? Will he realize the ramifications of his ignorance? Will she realize, one day, that true love is not life shattering? We truly love her. One day she will know that better than she thinks she knows it now. One day, for her, life will happen.
Did he ever call her this year? Did he send her a birthday card? He did write her 1 letter a few months ago with those pipe dreams one gets while they are restricted from the rest of the world and all of reality. Oh, and he did send her a Christmas card. He called his now ex-girlfriend every weekend and he did write to her girls all the time (they are in school with Jen---yes, they smeared it in her face). He sent them pictures. He told them lots of things that she had the opportunity to hear about at school.
Why a 'cash cow'? Because when I went to see him in jail to get the paper signed last March. His very first comment was that she was eligible for disability insurance. (She had to have a kidney removed and has high blood pressure.) I don't know if she is or not...that is not the point. She is NOT, nor do we want her to even think she is disabled. He only wants her to get money off her. How cruel. How utterly heartless. He is my husbands half brother and my husband knows him all too well. I am glad my husband knows how to deal with him. I am thankful beyond all that my husband is not an easy to fool fella. I am thankful that he is logical, realistic and smart in these things.
You know, we don't see him ever getting her. We see him hurting her. Will he ever be able to get a job? Maybe. Does he realize that at least 4 of his kids draw state welfare (child support)? Does he realize that IF he gets a job the state will take a big chunk of his check? They want to be paid back for the years of support they've been giving to the caregivers of his children. Does he realize that it costs to provide a home, food, clothing and who knows what else for this child? Does he realize that once he starts getting these real life hits, he is going to ride a roller coaster of emotions. Life is going to happen. There is nothing he can do to stop it, nothing. I know that there are a large number of people who come out of jail, drug rehab and bad situations to only find themselves knocked back down and trampled over. I also know that there is a very small number who come out and go on to live better lives, so I do know it is possible. Do I think he will? Honestly? No. Not because I am cruel and just don't want to see it happen. No, because of the reality of his situation. You just do not do the things he has done, come out of jail and not face more consequences of his actions. The past haunts us and it catches up to us, heck, it just flat runs us over. You can't run from it. You can't ignore it. You can't think the rules don't apply to you. It just doesn't work that way.
She will be hurt by it. Mark my words. She will be hurt. She won't understand it. She won't be able to fully process it. Will he realize how he will hurt her? Will he realize the ramifications of his ignorance? Will she realize, one day, that true love is not life shattering? We truly love her. One day she will know that better than she thinks she knows it now. One day, for her, life will happen.
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