Thursday, October 27, 2005

Only a brief moment to share some exciting news....tonight my 2 youngest sons ran their final Cross Country meet of the season!

I am always hopeful for both of them. This is their first year, and, well, I made them do it. Before anyone pitches a proverbial fit...see my side of this. I have two very active, constantly climbing the walls boys..ages 13 and 15...every year, the past 4 yrs, the youngest has played football and basketball..the older one didn't do any sports for the past 3 years...any, nada...nope not one! He is the one that has always been the adventurer, the do things in his own time one, the one that I could have sworn had more energy than anyone in the world....who would literally drop into bed, on his own and without warning, when he was tired. Out of shape, yes. Out of energy, no. This year the younger wasn't playing football or basketball now that he is in middle school. Already having experience with the after-school h*** they would put me through, (calling me at work telling me, "C is beating me up," and all the nine million other things that a mom just doesn't want to hear while at work), this year I made a conscious decision, not a threat, a decision. They were both going to be in CC. Yep, all the arguing, pouting, complaining....it was worth every minute of it! My youngest was in much better shape and his times at meets have placed him always in the approximate middle of the runners...if there were 50, he was about in the #25-30th and has pretty well maintained that thru the season...tonight...tonight, he finished in 6th place....out of 16 runners!!! He got a nice medal...I had NO camera with me...they ran less than a half mile from my work and it never even dawned on me about the camera!

The 15 yo....well, that is an interesting story...at the beginning of his season...he would run about 3 miles in 34 minutes...always in last place at meets..but always getting a better time. He really struggled. I mean really struggled, but he never gave up. When, even on the most difficult of courses, we would see kids just give up, he would finish the race. Always in last place (except when the others dropped out or were DQ'd), but he finished. On a very rare occaision, he did beat one or two at a race fair and square. His time was better than in the beginning at 34...he would pare down the minutes until he ran about an average of 28 for the 3 mile runs for the high school boys. The other team players were encouraging him..telling him that when they began the sport, they stunk too but look at them now and that he would also improve. I love that about this sport. Anyway, today he said he was going to try to break 27 minutes...he and the coach discuss his goals and this was one of them. He ran so hard. So very hard. My heart always breaks, but I never tell him...I cheer him on as if he were in first place. I pray so hard that he will not be in last place, yet he nearly always is. Tonight...tonight he was so far behind the others...the first place winner was at just over 16 minutes....my child ran hard. He crossed the finish line, last. Last by several minutes. At the end of the awards I was finally able to get his official time.....25:59......OH MY GOSH! He did it!!! He broke his goal of 27....and actually even better...less than 26:00! I am so proud of him. The highlight? On the ride home, he and the younger were talking about how they were going to stay in shape for next years team!!!

I love my boys!

Monday, October 17, 2005


Blogging? Me...nah...not me? Surely I wouldn't start posting things online...deep thoughts and musings from within this boisterous being?

Oh yeah! I am taking the plunge! After mulling over the idea for a long while now, I thought it would atleast be a fun adventure and a great way for me to begin writing again. No, I am not a writer by trade. I don't even pretend to know that much about writing. All that I do know is that for years I would take to writing to heal myself...almost or sometimes has been a type of prayer that would allow me to voice all that was within which I was always too afraid to speak or even allow myself to feel. It is uncomfortable you know. Speaking what I feel that is....I have just had a difficult time really letting what is in "there" out.

It can be painful you know? Opening up and admitting things that I would rather not, or that I just want to avoid. I just recently thought that I should pursue the whole blogging thing after learning about them from friends. I don't avidly read other peoples blogs...I almost feel it is a type of voyeurism and often just feel very uncomfortable. I guess that is because there is a privacy that I feel like I am intruding upon by opening up a blog and peering into the life of another...sometimes very personal and deeply private parts of their lives.

Well, after a long weekend in the mountains with scrap friends, my boys are hovering around me as I type now...guess it is their turn for attention from mom once again!