A Good Year Ending...

WOW! I can hardly believe I am saying goodbye to 2007! It has been a wonderful year of exploration and discovery! As you have followed my blog, I hope you could see that I was discovering far more about myself and my faith than I ever knew. I took over the family finances, was delivered from near collapse due to our financial mismanagement, saw God's hand moving in my life in far more areas that I had ever before seen, saw miracles, answered prayers, dove into my prayer life--head first, loved more than I have ever loved before and lost weight too! What a year! A WONDERFUL year in my life. Oh yes, there are areas that were not so great, tears, heartache, and so much more, BUT I rejoice because of the lessons I have learned and the blessings that flowed.

I love life! Anyone who knows me can agree that I love life! I love people! I love the strength we have in adversity! I love that I can depend on God for my every need, want and desire...knowing that he answers my prayers in a way that is far better for me than I could have ever imagined!

I sat in church yesterday and watched this little boy (18 months old or so) with the cutest smile, curliest blonde locks and beautiful blue eyes. He was so involved in picking up a pen and putting it back...never aware of the eyes upon him. He peeked around the chair in front of him to see the pastor and the guy in the front row..a big burley guy! He looked around and pointed his finger at someone who captured his attention, he smiled at me when I caught his eye. He was just filled with a light and truly glowing as a young child does.

Quietly, I could hear God's voice speaking to my heart and telling me that a child has no worry for anything, his parents take care of his needs and wants, they protect him from danger, they teach him about the world and all the things around him and often things unseen...such as love and trust, faith and values and oh so much more. They guide him through some perilous paths in life, comfort him, rejoice with him, encourage him and so much more. I could hear His quiet voice as it said to me, this is what His wish is for His own children. How He longs to reveal secrets and treasures to each and everyone of them. How He longs to show them His will for them and how He longs to lead them through this life and teach them how to navigate the joy, happiness, pain, hurt and disappointment. He longs to hear us each CHOOSE to follow Him and in that trust Him for meeting all of our needs. It is so funny to me how that observation of this particular child and my personal experience as both a child and a parent gave me a reflection of how the relationship with God should work by His own beautiful design.

How many times did I see this child's parent, reach out to stop him from disturbing others around him or stepping out into the aisle? He tugged against the direction of his mom, he wanted to go where she did not want him to go. Once distracted however, he succumbed to her direction and eventually the tug of war began again! I can see how my parents meant well for me as I was growing up!

I had the opportunity to explain to Jen last night in her sorrow that she had no control over her daddy's choices. I told her how God knew exactly what her life was going to be like, how He knew her mom would lose custody of her, how she would eventually come to live with me and her Unc-a-daddy and how her own daddy gave her the only thing he could give her: a family, a life he could never offer her. I explained that even though she could not understand why, she could trust that he had her best interest at heart. I parallelled this with Jen's ability at her own maturity level to know that if Chloe (she babysits for a friend), were going to put her hand up on the hot stove top that she would have the insight to know the danger that this would cause. Even though, at Chloe's maturity level, she wouldn't know. But that Chloe, age 6, would have to ultimately make the choice to either touch the stove or trust Jen. It is the same reality in her own case, her daddy made a decision for her, even if Jen couldn't see what or why, she would have to trust that he knew what was best for her. I promised her that one day, she, too, would know the answers that elude her now, for the most part.

How this so parallel's with God's design for our lives! How I am so happy He reveals Himself to me in the most common of things. He is so good! He is so full of grace and mercy and when I fail him, he is still there guiding me. His voice may be a quiet whisper, but it grabs me like loud thunder when I realize it is speaking to me. I pray that I will become far more adept at hearing and knowing His voice...with more speed and understanding. I pray that I will continually be able to associate, upon reflection, how what He is saying parallels with common things that I have experienced and relate to in life. How I pray that as He moves I become like a butterfly in the wind of his breath. I pray that in such quiet moments, I will hear and obey all of His words and direction. I pray that I eagerly give up my own control and come under submission to Him. He truly amazes me and I long to know Him in a deeper, more intimate way.

What a WONDERFUL year this has been. I can hardly wait for 2008!

Goodbye 2007! You are an old friend I shall not soon forget!