Neglect

Sheer neglect.
Life can be hectic.
Life can be a roller coaster ride.
Life can take you miles off-path and eventually may lead you back again.
Neglect happens by accident sometimes, I am sure it does. Life doesn't, I am sure.
I have neglected much. I have neglected myself, my feelings, my health, my family (at times).
I am hoping for less neglect in my life.

Granted, I have faaaarrrr too many interests in activities that I often neglect---sewing, cooking, gardening, scrapbooking, reading, dancing, photography, crafts, -get the idea?
With work and the regular day to day grind, I do find it difficult to maintain a healthy balance of things and often do neglect a variety of activities that might surely make me live a more balanced life. I am not sure how to incorporate everything I love/like to do into my week. This will resemble weeding in my garden~a task that I don't often like to do, but once done offers sweet reward. Decision making is not necessarily a strong suit with me, possessive as I am!

I was reflecting just yesterday on 'old fashioned' country moms who did it all: gardened, stocked their pantries, educated their children as well as raising them, being a loving wife to their hard-working husbands, took care of their personal needs--meaning they 'dressed' for the occaisions of the day whether t'was a day of hot gardening or day of cleaning windows and actually managed to look good. She sewed, mended, washed, cleaned, loved and lived fully. Not that I don't live fully but when I compare it to generations past I get the feeling I actually don't live fully.

I recall my own mom who, in the heat of summer was out in the garden harvesting, coming in late in the afternoon, putting together a meal for our family of 5 then preparing and putting up the harvest whether by canning or freezing the goods--even late into the night and still rising in the early morning to fix breakfast and be sure daddy was off to work with his lunchbox in tow. Easily she worked 23 hours a day during harvest, she took her work seriously even if no one else did. Did she neglect anything. Yes she did. She was not above the neglect of her own health or perhaps other facets of her life. Does she feel she led a good, fulfilled life? I am sure she does.

Neglect-good or bad, simply happens to us all. I believe there are things that need neglecting and things that should never be neglected. I am going to re-assess myself and see what I might be neglecting that should not be neglected and what things I would be better off to neglect. I am going to find a healthy balance in that neglect-I am determined to do so!

I am sorry I neglected this blog. I created it for my personal outlet of expression and as I re-read some of my previous posts I realized I missed it, mostly I missed having the outlet of expressing myself. I realized I went through a bout of depression last year with the sickness Charlie had after his gall-bladder surgery, the decision we made to surrender our niece to the state's custody after 3 years and my own feelings of failure in having become the mom to that daughter, and various other events of the past year. Was it a bad year? Not the best and far from the worst but either way, I neglected an awful lot of things in my life and I am not pleased with myself.

Neglect, sadness intermingled with doubt and a resolution to re-prioritize my life.